Forgive me Father. Pastor, Vicar, Padre, Priest, for I have Synonymed

Forgive me Father. Pastor, Vicar, Padre, Priest, for I have Synonymed

666: No. of the Beast

image: Satan
OK, you know that 666 is the Number of the Beast, but did you know that:
660Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVIRoman numeral of the Beast
666.0000Number of the High Precision Beast
0.666Number of the Millibeast
/666Beast Common Denominator
1010011010Binary of the Beast
Beast1-666Area code of the Beast
00666Postcode of the Beast
1-900-666-0666Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now! Only $6.66/minute. Over 18 only please.
$665.95Retail price of the Beast
$699.25Price of the Beast plus sales tax
$769.95Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
$656.66Target price of the Beast
Route 666Way of the Beast
666FOven temperature for roast Beast
666mgRecommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
Netscape 6.66BetaBrowser of the Beast
i66686CPU of the Beast
666IBMW of the Beast
668Next-door neighbour of the Beast

Source: http://www.catholic-pages.com/grabbag/666.asp

Two Jewish friends pass a Catholic Church

Two Jewish friends pass a Catholic Church on which a large poster addresses non-Catholics: "Come to us, accept Catholicism, and you instantly get $30,000 in cash!" While walking away, the two friends become engaged in a debate about whether the offer is meant seriously. A week later the two friends meet again in front of the same church, and one of them confides to the other: "I still wonder if that offer is serious." the other replies condescendingly: "Ah you Jews, all you think about is money!"
Church

Father, do you have anything to declare

Image: Priest with wide eyes
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course, child. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please."


Sleeping at Sunday School (joke)

woman asleep
Joanne wasn't the best student at Sunday school. She often fell asleep during class and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Joanne and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Joanne jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Joanne again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Joanne again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll break it in half and stick it in your ear!"